I Dream of Dinner

So far the Dream Dinner concept has been a hit. It's only Tuesday and we've eaten two of the six meals we 'made' (assembled) on Saturday. No, in case you're curious, we don't have a baby yet so we have no valid excuse for eating our special dinners. My only defense is that I'm just tired of doing anything at all, including breathing. Everything's tougher these days!

Show me the pork chops

*Finally* I am fairly comfortable walking around a grocery store or being around food. I've been ok with food for at least a couple of months. Not that I'm ok eating a whole lot of it but I'm alright being around it.

Since Trouble is *hopefully* just weeks away from arriving and becoming a tax deduction and a way for me to travel in the HOV lane (woo-hoo!), we thought it would be a good time to use a gift certificate we got for a place called Dream Dinners. It's fancy frozen food. They make food, you prep it, freeze it and eat it. It's pretty simple and we hope it'll be a good solution to nights when we just want to stare at Trouble and don't feel like making (or eating) a frozen pizza or clean out our pantry's tuna fish section (yes, we have a designated tuna area... and one for peanut butter, too).

Here's how it works: Menus change every month. You go on-line and select meals you want, pay for them, and then physically go and assemble your dinners at a special Dream Dinner kitchen on a given date and time. We selected the August menu and chose midday on Saturday so that we could both participate. I have to say that even without eating any of our meals, it was probably one of the most fulfilling and entertaining couples activities we've done for quite some time. There are a few reasons for this but the big one is that it was a very organized and clean (and even color-coded) kitchen, and Clint was actually giddy about the entire experience. It was great how excited he got about all of the ziplock bags, pre-measured ingredients and easy-to-follow "recipes" we were given. We got to wear aprons too, which I thought was fun.

How does it work? You go around to different stations with various ingredients and mix your meals together. The photo on this post is of one of the meals we assembled, which is a fancy pork chop. We might go back -- we'll have to see how quickly we eat our pre-assembled meals and if we enjoy them. I know Clint wants to go back just for the pure thrill of putting all of the ingredients into neat and tidy baggies!

Too big for breakfast links...

Just a quick post to show y'all that I've moved from small breakfast sausage feet to ballpark frank level. Nitrate free, yet still plump!

Trust me... you don't want to see my toes.

Grannie Pants

There was a time, maybe 5 months ago, when I thought I should return some maternity clothes that I got in the mail because there was no way I'd ever be big enough to fit in them. By the beginning of this month, I realized I was sorely mistaken. Now some of those same articles are actually too SMALL. Youch.

There was another incident more recently when I went to Target and decided to *indulge* in some new undergarments. We're not talking anything fancy or sensual here-- strictly utilitarian. There's a lot of stuff that nobody tells you about pregnancy, including that you'll probably not want to wear any of your previous lacy/ruffled/skimpy or attractive knickers after the second trimester for a variety of reasons. I chose spring-like hues and tossed them in my cart.

When I got home and pulled the size 8(!) underwear out of the pouch I had a similar thought that I did with the maternity clothes: NO WAY. What was I going to do with them? They were ginormous. I figured I couldn't return the Sumo panties but they were only $6 so no major loss. I tucked them away in my closet and tried not to think about them.

Yesterday it was over 30C/100F here. Even when I avoided the oven-like heat outside, I was hot. By evening, I learned that I am (was?) living in denial about my bloomer situation. I had thought I'd be ok in some pre-pregnancy panties for the day. I couldn't have been more wrong. I had a very raw and very chafed inner thigh from the elastic on my cute cotton undies. I had that long-run leg chafing feeling without the satisfaction of having just been on a long run. I hobbled around like a cowboy after a day-long cattle wrangling until it was time for bed and then I hoped that the cycling butter balm I had would rapidly heal my raw bits.

I awoke feeling much better but I don't think I'll be trying to squeeze into my old knicks any time soon. I have learned my lesson. I dug out the "XL" sherbet pink panties this morning and I put them on. They fit. I didn't shed a tear, but I'm really hoping that in the next 6-8 weeks I'll be putting them back into their hiding place in a dark corner of my closet.

37 Weeks Down! 3(+) to go

Today officially marks week 37, which means that I've got somewhere between 3 and 5 weeks remaining. As of today's baby doctor visit, nothing will be happening any time soon (good)... little lungs apparently still need a little time to percolate.

While this is a good thing, I was thinking how it'd be nice if Trouble decided to make something happen in 2 and a half weeks or so. That'd be good. I don't really mind the puffy feet/fingers/toes/hands or all of the bathroom visits, but I've still got some issues with the nausea and vomiting. I'd really *love* to get rid of it, but by now I've accepted it won't go away until baby arrives. So if we could hurry things up just a little bit, that'd be nice.

To add a little excitement to the baby waiting time, I am inviting any interested parties to set their prediction for the time of day baby will actually come -- which I hope will coincide with my freedom from the nausea I've endured since late January. So far the most popular time of day is between 3 and 4am, and predictions are pretty much evenly split between the two genders. Place your bets now!

Tuesday: A New Day

After only barely interrupted sleep last night (dehydration can be good! Not as many trips to the bathroom!) I think I might have just been exhausted, which led to my physical meltdown yesterday. I have tried to start the day off a little better, meaning that I am back to the 230 calories per serving chocolate milk (I had tried to kick it but alas, it seems to be one of the only remedies for the morning yuck) and I made myself some herbal iced tea since water alone is less than appetizing. I've been awake for nearly 2 hours (Clint offered to do the morning dog routine so I could sleep a little longer! YAAAY!) and so far I've only been a 1 or 2 on the morning sickness scale. MUCH MUCH BETTER!

My new freedom has led me to tackle some of the things I didn't yesterday, including packing up the giant baby car seat for a return to the Magic Beanstalk place. Yes, the seat, while (probably very safe), plush and very soft, didn't work with any of the stuff I had gotten from friends and relatives. When I ordered it, I didn't know that I would suddenly acquire two car seats and three matching bases made by a different manufacturer. The used car seats aren't as cushy, which Clint was quick to point out, but it didn't make sense to keep the other one when it didn't match anything we have. Here's how heavy it was: It cost $25 just to send it back! Now that it is gone, I can focus on cleaning up my desk, which I've been neglecting for at least three weeks. By the end of the day I'd like to have it all tidy... I'm posting a before photo and I'll post an "after" one if I'm successful.

Regression (again?!)

Yes, you are reading this correctly. The date is late August and we are into Week 37 of (approximately) 40, and I was so sick today that the only thing I managed to do was send out some overdue mail. I think I had three changes of clothes too, so now I am doing laundry as well... if that counts.

I don't understand how this could be happening again but it is, and I have no options other than to deal with it and count the days (25ish) until I won't be pregnant anymore. At least now it isn't as bad as having 25ish WEEKS left... Goodness, that would really be terrible. In addition to the lingering sickness, the edema is so bad that I really do have little sausage fingers and the sniffs have returned so the neti pot has to come out of hiding soon. All of these things, combined with the summer heat, led to today's first... A resignation of sorts: I watched a movie in the middle of the day. No multitasking, no matter that I didn't accomplish anything. I have recently decided that I can't think I will manage to do the things I want because then I will only be disappointed when I don't get them done. Instead, I'll have a list of goals and if I do any of them I should be super happy!

Back to today: I rented Hot Tub Time Machine with hopes it would make me forget how miserable I was. It's probably not a movie I would have watched if I felt like actually putting any effort into my cinematic experience. I really didn't care; I just plopped down on the sofa and hoped to feel better. It was more raunchy than I expected and there were a few instances of vomiting, which made me want to demand that the MPA issues warnings. "the following movie contains all of the following:...sensitive audiences, such as the elderly and extremely pregnant ladies, may prefer to see Babe." Man, the last thing you feel like watching when you are sick is a movie with other sick people. Except Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And since he isn't really sick, that can't count.

By the end of the movie I was feeling pretty decent-- well enough to go to the post office. It was 4:30 by the time I left the house. If this continues and I only have short bursts of productivity in the coming weeks, I think I will go crazy!

Weighing In

Today marks the beginning of the end! Officially, this is week 36 so I'll be going to see my doctor every week from now until Trouble/ baby Rockwell decides to arrive, which I'm guessing could be as late as September 24th or so. The doctor says I can go to 42 weeks as long as everything is still looking ok. If Trouble's later than 10 days, which is possible, there'd be a new sign of the Zodiac in our household. This might be good for me since I already live with a Virgo and I can't stand how clean and tidy the house has to be... but I digress.

The news today is that based on a bunch of measurements, baby is approximately 6 pounds and 3 or 4 ounces. It's got plenty of fluid to bounce around in and I was even able to see little dark circles indicating a bladder and stomach! I was told that this is a sign that baby is practicing breathing and ingesting things and stuff is working properly.

I saw a little fist but not much else and couldn't make out most of the body parts. I saw a femur! And some ribs and a spine. All of these things are neat. Oh-- and baby appears to be in the right position for a fast (ok - maybe not fast, but a regular, uneventful and natural) exit. It is facing the right way and everything with legs off to the left a bit. My doctor glazed over various reproductive organs because if we don't want to know, she doesn't want to know. I like that... a surprise for everyone! And it won't be much longer before we know the answer to the question I'm asked all the time!

So baby Trouble will most likely be a normal baby weight, which is exciting for someone who wants a natural birth and personally weighed more than ten pounds! There's very little chance that Trouble will gain 4 whole pounds in the 4 weeks remaining. I guess it's possible, but a little scary to think about! My weight didn't change this week (yay) -- I am still 184 pounds. It seems crazy, but that's what the scale says. It'll be nice to feel light(er) again... SOON.

Car Seat Madness

Since Trouble could decide to come any day in the next 4-6 weeks (unlikely, but possible), I was encouraged to do things like pack a bag for a speedy departure to the hospital and get things ready for the tiny human that will eventually live here. The list of things to do included getting a car seat for said tiny human (which shall not be named Trouble in real life because Clint as vetoed it... sorry, Trouble fans).

I ordered the car seat on-line based on something I read on a website called Magic Beans. Of course, if I'm reading any website with "magic" in the title, this MUST be a safe, reliable, trustworthy piece of baby gear, right? Either that, or it will magically take my money and disappear.

The seat arrived today and it was so heavy that I could barely get it out of the box. This doesn't bode well. It means I am weak and the seat weighs something like 10 times what my baby will probably weigh. It was a miniature fortress that I have to somehow put in my car and be expected to extract the child from every time I want to take it somewhere. I don't leave my dog in the car, but after looking at this seat and the buckles and straps, I'm going to be tempted to leave the kid in there. Really. I don't think I could even practice with one of the baby-size puppets we have (the harbor seal is baby size) because I would buckle it to itself and probably rip the stuffing out or something.

I got the "adventure" colours - gray and green. It's not gender specific and I thought it might clean up well in the event of an accident, but now that I've had to pick the thing up, this baby isn't going anywhere. Ever.

Tough to Get a Grip

While things are a bit unpredictable in the mental health realm lately-- I'm happy! I'm frustrated! I'm excited! I'm scared! I'm just about any and everything... Things are becoming increasingly predictable physically: uncomfortable. I almost made it an entire week without getting sick, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. So there's that physical hurdle, but there's also more now: I'm puffy (everywhere)! I don't fit in much! I tend to be hot! My shoes don't fit!

Last night (ok, more like this morning) my puffy mitts made the simple task of drinking my bedside water a disaster. Luckily I've switched to plastic, because I can't get a single paw around our big glasses these days. It wasn't a big deal, but it was an "oh shit" moment when I realized that water was dripping next to my clock. It was 3am. I unplugged it, took the opportunity while I was standing to shuffle over to the bathroom, and then wiped up the excess and fell (sorta tripped) back into bed. Will I be this sleepy and clumsy when I have to change diapers in the middle of the night?

Stocked!

All the stuff swap and family-donated goodies are clean and soon they'll be folded and put away. To those of you who sent something gently used or a sweet moose (sporting the new frog booties), THANK YOU! We have sooo much! I just hope we won't go through everything in one day!

Mirror, mirror not on my wall

A recent houseguest (you know who you are) told me we needed a full length mirror. It suddenly occurred to me that people DO care about what they look like. Don't get me wrong-- I also care about how I look and this morning I even curled my hair for my little tv segment (looked good!), but I haven't felt the need to give myself a full head to toe inspection prior to leaving the house lately.

I was thinking about this today when I was in the grocery store getting a sandwich that caused some nasty heartburn-- my first bout since probably week 14 or so. As I made my way across the parking lot and two cars stopped for me, I couldn't help but think that they weren't just polite drivers, they saw a pregnant lady! I forget what I look like until something like that happens. Other examples over the past few days: doors open for me or people hold elevators, one guy even offered to help me load my truck at Home Depot (no, thanks). Even though Clint says I've "been pregnant forever," I know this isn't true because I still don't think of myself as looking pregnant. I figure I am the same as I have been for roughly the past ten years, size 8ish. It's only when I eat and dribble (often) that I realize I am so, so wrong!

Anyway, the mirror: I have a full length one that hides on the back of the door of my closet. I don't look at it much. Maybe I'll move it into the guest / baby room so that other people can have the full body view they need it and baby can stare at itself when the time comes.

PregnanTV

This morning I joined 6 other almost mamas at a place called the Pump Station (no, they don't sell gas... but they do have snacks) for a filming. I got an email earlier this week about taping for a Rachael Ray show segment with some woman I had never heard of-- apparently she's a Rachael buddy -- and her partner or husband, I don't know which. Seeing this as an opportunity to meet some mamas and get myself some swag, of course I replied. After all, not many mamas have this kind of opportunity!

We gathered and waited (as I expected) and had some time to chat and eat, which -- lately-- is always a good thing for me. First, second, third breakfasts... they all help curb the nausea that continues to linger. I think I had two bagels by the time we got around to the taping. After about an hour and a half of chatting and listening to a baby skin care expert tell us about the unique features of baby skin, we were finally asked to get ready for the segment. I learned how to swaddle and practice some baby wearing, which is hard to do when your baby is taking up the tummy space you need for the wrap. It doesn't really work to be pregnant and try baby wrapping. Regardless, it was a decent use of my morning if only for the learning experience. There was also a little added entertainment for lil ol' Topanga mama that I am -- the Rachael buddy was wearing 5 inch heels (the woman is 7 months pregnant) and her husband/partner really was clueless. I believe at one point he asked if swaddling was to prepare baby for "sleeping through the night" -- as if any newborn is going to actually be sleeping through the night! And he had a few other questions, one regarding diapers and if it was ok to just leave a wet diaper on for a change schedule of a "couple" of times a day. hmmm. Were these genuine questions, or is he the comic relief? I left knowing that there's someone who will likely have a tougher time with parenthood than me (and Clint!)

Stuff Swap Success!

As of today, I have all the baby clothes I'll need for at least the first three months... and I got them all in under an hour... for free! How? A friend from Arlington who was once my babysitter and one of my favorite people when I was 10 because of the awesome hand-me-downs she gave me has given me more stuff... 20 years later!

Holding little tiny clothes sorta makes the whole thing seem more real for some reason. I know it's REAL, but this gives baby something to wear -- not just me imagining some tiny life form. Now I can imagine a tiny life form wearing Lakers socks.

I have it all --- everything from little tiny baby socks and mittens to a giant stroller and bouncy seat for baby-tainment after a few months. It's all part of a stuff swap she organizes with 8 or 9 other moms. She keeps tubs full of clothing and blankets and sheets and everything in her garage. Moms take what they need when they need it and return it later.

When this stuff is outgrown, there's lots more to choose from too, all at no cost. There is only the expectation of returning it when it's too small and adding whatever else I've got. This will save me sooo much time, energy and money. I am grateful to have friends who are older... and wise enough to start such a great swap!
weeeeeee

Trouble!

Today I got a package from UPS addressed to Trouble Rockwell. I was home when it was delivered and the UPS guy thought it was really very cool that someone would be named Trouble. "Got a package for Trouble.... Is that a birth name?" Well, see, we've been calling it Trouble because it has caused a lot of it over the past 7 months or so. The nickname stuck and perhaps it will continue to stick permanently if it's really that awesome. It looks good on the label. Add the surname and it has a good ring to it. There are already a few songs dedicated to trouble. Not so bad!

Everyone keeps asking if we've chosen a name (no), but maybe I'll have to put Trouble on the list for real! It could be Trouble ________ Rockwell, and then we could shorten it to be T. _______ Rockwell, so it's a real conversation starter. It's better than Santa or Lady Gaga Rockwell. Trouble's actually pretty good. Or maybe not. hmm.

Move it!

I didn't ever really think about my insides too much until the past few weeks. Normally, things like ribs hang out and don't do a lot. Lately, they've been hanging out and getting in the way. Now that my uterus is the size of a melon and the nugget is more the size of a hen than a nugget, there isn't room for everything. Hence the incredible shrinking ____________ (Fill in the blank: stomach/bladder...)

Nothing is really where you'd think or where it belongs -- I read today that in this, the 35th week, even my heart has to move a little to make room for the little person who will be baby Rockwell. Crazy!

Birthday Blues

Today I am officially a year older, meaning this was the day 30 years ago that my parents ever so patiently waited (an extra SIXTEEN days) for. It must have been agonizing! I don't think it is the fact that I am 30 that made me mopey and generally listless, So I am going to blame the baby.

Being pregnant is not exactly fun. In fact, for me, it would probably qualify as the #1 thing that if I knew what I was getting into when I signed on for the adventure, I would not be doing. I doubt that "parenthood" will fit into this category--- at least I hope not. There are many things that I wasn't quite ready for mentally that have gone on over the past 7 months or so that have led me to come to this conclusion, including the emotional roller coaster I can't seem to get off of. Angst, panic, frustration, fear, anticipation, worry-- if it is possible to feel all of these at the same time, I've done it. And now I have to sign off so I can go somewhere to cry again.

Deferred Maintenance and More

As I inch closer to baby time, I am finding things that need attention... but not things you might think of. Many parents-to-be have a list of things to do before a baby arrives and their lives change forever. These lists include things such as going to Costco to load up on paper towels or painting a nursery or doing something else around the house. Since I've been overseeing house construction since April, I'm sooo over that. Now I have started a new list of things that I need to do-- but these are things that will have to wait until AFTER baby arrives. We'll call this deferred maintenance. Or deferring maintenance, since I seem to find something new each day.

I think living in my new community helps a bit with the acceptance of my current state. It seems the locals have a more lax attitude toward things like hygiene and forgiving when it comes to fashion than in my old 'hood. My hair hasn't been cut since my friend Heather trimmed it in early March. I have even crazier hair now, meaning it's longer than ever before (ever ever ever) and it's getting light on the ends without any kind of color treatment or anything, meaning that hair is ancient! Ok, so deferred maintenance #1: get new haircut. I'm deferring because I can't commit to what I want to do, so it's best to just not do anything right now. #2: I need a pedicure. Mum, thanks for offering to take me and then offering to GIVE ME A PEDICURE (only a mom would do that!), but I just don't think I wanna do it right now. I can barely see my feet, so what's the point? #3: I either have bruised or cracked a rib, which hurts every time I roll over too fast or forcefully onto my left side (think: beached whale). I really can't do anything about this right now, so it automatically becomes deferred. #4: I really ought to do something about my crazy eyebrows. Thing is, they've turned blonde from being in the sun so they're not too terrible. Sunkissed, in fact. They say owners start to look like their dogs... my dog and I now have matching golden eyebrows. #5: I have to see the dentist. I might even need a few new teeth at this point. I have special toothpaste, but I don't think it's working. Baby had better have some great looking pearly whites when the time comes. #6 through 100?... There's so much I'd like to do -- sleep through the night, ride a bike, eat sushi, stop wearing Clint's clothes, sleep through the night on my stomach, wear anything on my side of the closet, sleep through the night in any position other than on my side, not have to pee every 5 minutes, not feel like vomiting every time I wake up in the morning, stop eating for more than 3 hours and not suffer consequences... the list goes on and on, but everything will have to wait another month or so. One day at a time!

Eating Machine

I think I'll invent an eating machine that I can plug into somehow and absorb the food nutrients. What's that you say? It's already been invented and it has a more medical sounding name like a... feeding tube? And it's really gross? Ok. Well, how about we just stick to the Willy Wonka version-- the three-course dinner chewing gum? I could use an invention room to work on my gum meals...

I thought I liked to eat until I had to do it all the time. Really-- that's what it seems like. Constant eating. And if I'm not eating, I am drinking something and thinking about what I could/should be eating. It's recommended that baby mamas get lots of protein during pregnancy. Apparently protein is good for all sorts of things, including brain development and building a strong placenta. I'm just really tired of constantly trying to come up with creative protein sources. Soy beans, whey and soy shakes, cheese, milk (chocolate-- regular isn't so tasty), cottage cheese, more cheese... Enough already!

Six weeks and a day until the official due date... at the going rate, that means 6 cartons of milk, three blocks of cheese, 45 soy shakes and a lot more nibbling to go.