Saved by the Chef (Thank Goodness!)

Just as my day was beginning to take the usual afternoon downward spiral, I tried a little nostalgia. First I was going to go for an In-N-Out burger, but as I got closer to the double double I was dreaming about, the flame went out as quickly as it came. So I was driving down Venice Blvd. and decided to go to Albertson's (a grocery or "food" store) and hope for inspiration.

I don't usually find my way to that vast wasteland in the middle of the store unless I need something like cereal, but today I found myself looking at cans of fruit and vegetables, jars of olives, sauerkraut, and lots of things that were a full meal if I would "just add water." Right after the Campbell's soup I found something appetizing. A classic All-American staple food group: Chef Boyardee. Perhaps no other chef is as recognizable, except maybe the Swedish Chef.

This chef's food is MUCH BETTER than whatever the Muppet Chef makes. And he was a real guy! According to the very dependable (and mostly accurate) Wikipedia and the website for the Cleveland Museum of Art, the chef was born in Italy in 1897 and moved to New York in 1914. His name was Ettore [Hector] Boiardi, and he and his wife owned a restaurant in Cleveland (a city known for fine Italian cuisine, no?). Satisfied restaurant customers wanted the chef's recipes and once demand grew, he started to mass-market his sauces and pastas. Unfortunately, some folks out there in Cleveland couldn't pronounce his name properly so once he opened his factory, his pastas became "BoyArDee" to encourage proper pronunciation. And now, 82 years later, we've completely butchered any remaining Italian nuances that might have existed with the BoyArDee spelling. No worry though, I'm almost positive whatever is in these cans isn't Italian either.

I reached for a few and tried to keep in mind that just because I wanted to eat it right then and there, I may very well not be interested at all once I got it all home. I paced myself. A variety of 'pasta' options and I was headed for the checkout.


Not since getting off of bus 135 have I been so excited to use my microwave. I remember the first thing we did with the microwave when we finally got one: we boiled water. It was fascinating. After that first countertop experiment, we branched out to Bagel Bites, Hot Pockets, Mama Celeste pizzas for One, mini egg rolls, and just about anything that could be considered an after school snack. I'm not sure what made me think of Chef Boyardee, but he came to my rescue today. Twice. First I tried the classic Spaghetti-os (now called Spaghetti Rings and Meatballs) and a few hours later I tried what the Chef's people call lasagna. I cannot complain. I haven't felt like running to the bathroom for nearly 4 hours! Yay!

Thank you, Chef Boyardee. I know that there's not much nutritional value to your little microwave snacks, but right now I really don't care.