Birthday Blues

Today I am officially a year older, meaning this was the day 30 years ago that my parents ever so patiently waited (an extra SIXTEEN days) for. It must have been agonizing! I don't think it is the fact that I am 30 that made me mopey and generally listless, So I am going to blame the baby.

Being pregnant is not exactly fun. In fact, for me, it would probably qualify as the #1 thing that if I knew what I was getting into when I signed on for the adventure, I would not be doing. I doubt that "parenthood" will fit into this category--- at least I hope not. There are many things that I wasn't quite ready for mentally that have gone on over the past 7 months or so that have led me to come to this conclusion, including the emotional roller coaster I can't seem to get off of. Angst, panic, frustration, fear, anticipation, worry-- if it is possible to feel all of these at the same time, I've done it. And now I have to sign off so I can go somewhere to cry again.

Deferred Maintenance and More

As I inch closer to baby time, I am finding things that need attention... but not things you might think of. Many parents-to-be have a list of things to do before a baby arrives and their lives change forever. These lists include things such as going to Costco to load up on paper towels or painting a nursery or doing something else around the house. Since I've been overseeing house construction since April, I'm sooo over that. Now I have started a new list of things that I need to do-- but these are things that will have to wait until AFTER baby arrives. We'll call this deferred maintenance. Or deferring maintenance, since I seem to find something new each day.

I think living in my new community helps a bit with the acceptance of my current state. It seems the locals have a more lax attitude toward things like hygiene and forgiving when it comes to fashion than in my old 'hood. My hair hasn't been cut since my friend Heather trimmed it in early March. I have even crazier hair now, meaning it's longer than ever before (ever ever ever) and it's getting light on the ends without any kind of color treatment or anything, meaning that hair is ancient! Ok, so deferred maintenance #1: get new haircut. I'm deferring because I can't commit to what I want to do, so it's best to just not do anything right now. #2: I need a pedicure. Mum, thanks for offering to take me and then offering to GIVE ME A PEDICURE (only a mom would do that!), but I just don't think I wanna do it right now. I can barely see my feet, so what's the point? #3: I either have bruised or cracked a rib, which hurts every time I roll over too fast or forcefully onto my left side (think: beached whale). I really can't do anything about this right now, so it automatically becomes deferred. #4: I really ought to do something about my crazy eyebrows. Thing is, they've turned blonde from being in the sun so they're not too terrible. Sunkissed, in fact. They say owners start to look like their dogs... my dog and I now have matching golden eyebrows. #5: I have to see the dentist. I might even need a few new teeth at this point. I have special toothpaste, but I don't think it's working. Baby had better have some great looking pearly whites when the time comes. #6 through 100?... There's so much I'd like to do -- sleep through the night, ride a bike, eat sushi, stop wearing Clint's clothes, sleep through the night on my stomach, wear anything on my side of the closet, sleep through the night in any position other than on my side, not have to pee every 5 minutes, not feel like vomiting every time I wake up in the morning, stop eating for more than 3 hours and not suffer consequences... the list goes on and on, but everything will have to wait another month or so. One day at a time!

Eating Machine

I think I'll invent an eating machine that I can plug into somehow and absorb the food nutrients. What's that you say? It's already been invented and it has a more medical sounding name like a... feeding tube? And it's really gross? Ok. Well, how about we just stick to the Willy Wonka version-- the three-course dinner chewing gum? I could use an invention room to work on my gum meals...

I thought I liked to eat until I had to do it all the time. Really-- that's what it seems like. Constant eating. And if I'm not eating, I am drinking something and thinking about what I could/should be eating. It's recommended that baby mamas get lots of protein during pregnancy. Apparently protein is good for all sorts of things, including brain development and building a strong placenta. I'm just really tired of constantly trying to come up with creative protein sources. Soy beans, whey and soy shakes, cheese, milk (chocolate-- regular isn't so tasty), cottage cheese, more cheese... Enough already!

Six weeks and a day until the official due date... at the going rate, that means 6 cartons of milk, three blocks of cheese, 45 soy shakes and a lot more nibbling to go.

Waddle Time? Already?

I didn't think that it would happen, but it has. I have started waddling. At least I was waddling this morning. I was half awake, waddling to the bathroom, when I thought to myself, "I'm waddling."
Woah.
I can't say I did much waddling for the rest of the day, but I can definitely tell that I'm wider and probably slowing down a bit. I know I'm always tired. Still. And I realize I'm being lazy with such a short post, but I really would like to go to bed!

Deep breath? Not so much.

I'm discovering that it's hard to catch my breath lately. I find myself yawning and not quite getting enough air. It is usually while I'm lying down or sitting, but it also happens when Pattie and I go up stairs or a hill (the driveway) or if I try to walk briskly. It's sorta cute that she knows to wait for me now. She'll pause halfway up the driveway and turn and wait. Tonight Clint sprinted up the stairs with her from the Strand to the street (we're on a little vacation for the week-- right by the waves at the beach south of LA but north of SD) and they waited at the top for me. She sat patiently and once I got there, she just turned around and kept walking. Funny girl.
I am hoping that this breathing problem is just part of being squished. There's a lot of squishing going on. The bladder is squished, I learned last week that my appendix has moved north, and there's pressure on so many other body parts I'm not sure where to start... I think you get the idea. The breathing can be a problem when I try to wind down and completely relax (part of preparation for baby time) or just nap. General bed time winding down has proven to be difficult too. I have a feeling it's just gonna get harder, but it'll just be harder for another 7 weeks. Every day is a little closer... yay!

Not just the feet

I have something new add to the list of pregnancy delights... puffy hands! I go for long walks with the puppy and have noticed a change in my paws lately: they're fat little piggies! My toes were already taught and square from sitting/standing/walking/moving, but now my hands are joining in the fun. I've taken to standing with my hands in the air like a doctor scrubbing in for surgery. Drain, baby, drain!

Itchy

The puppies (Pattie and Sam) had a few hours of tennis ball playtime yesterday. As you can see (check Pattie's paws), they had a good time. Now, as the sun is rising here in CA and she snores in a corner, I'm trying not to scratch myself to the point of bleeding.

For the past few weeks I've been struggling to figure out exactly what parasite I'm fighting. I've surrendered to the good kind -- the one that some day will take me in when I spend my life savings on Pez and send me photos of my grandchildren... It's another parasite that has literally been eating away at me.

I have itchy little pink welts that I just can't seem to shake. If it were a visible foe, perhaps I would have better luck in my battle, but the microscopic pests are elusive little buggers! My Google self diagnosis first led me to what seemed logical: fleas. But other than being itchy, I have no proof that fleas are to blame for my 2, 3, and 4 o'clock in the morning itching. After I had the organic pest control people out to my house I went back to the computer to check out MITES. Oh man, if they are indeed mites, I have a mighty tiny but very big problem.

Mites are in the tick/spider family and aren't insects. They have three sets of legs until they're big enough to cause trouble and then they grow another set, so once they reach adulthood, they have four pairs of legs (see, you've learned something today!)...

Apparently, there are different kinds of mites. I could very well have all of them:
Rat mites. We know that I've dealt with a few rodents.
Straw Itch Mites or Itch Mites. I'm thinking these guys might be to blame -- they live in dried grass. I have a lot of dried grass around. Everywhere, in fact. The NC State University website dedicated to mites says, "they are frequently a problem for people doing landscaping or feeding horses and other livestock..." No horses here, but I do fit the "doing landscaping" part of this sentence.
Chiggers or red bugs. I didn't think these lived in California, but only because people here don't say the word "chigger" with the same drawl or enthusiasm of those from The South. No swamps here, but it's possible there are chiggers.
Bird Mites. There are swallows in virtually every eve of my house. Here I thought they were helping to control the bugs, but I could be harboring avian terrorists!
Scabies! Oh no! These just SOUND bad. Nevermind that these guys burrow under the skin and lay eggs. I'm already incubating enough at the moment, thanks.
The only mites I don't think are guilty are chicken mites, simply because I don't have any chickens.

I haven't seen anything that makes me believe that the nugget is at risk. Sure, mites carry diseases, but so do a lot of other animals. I'm sure that my keyboard is harboring some kind of deadly bacteria. I could get a deadly virus from one of the nasty public restrooms I have to use all the time now, too. I could do more harm with a repellant than just dealing with the itchies. You get the point.

Rather than try to pinpoint exactly what is to blame, I'd like to have all colonies of the buggers killed so I can go outside and not fear the consequences of walking in the grass. Nevermind that I can't sleep through the night-- I don't mind getting up to pee. That doesn't keep me awake. It's the constant itching!